Its 9 am in the morning, I am sitting in H 102. The sun enters the room from the left. Listening to Groove Armada and reading Atlas Shrugged, my mind delves into the ocean of thoughts. Random memories come to my mind, each one asking me to start from them, but the mind refuses to choose. My soul feels light, lighter than ever before. The smell of the AC that stopped last evening still lingers in the room.
There’s so much work left to be done, so many commitments to be completed but my mind keeps going back to the memory of my dream last night. I avoid it, it comes back. It’s weird how strongly I remember this dream, the exact dream that I don’t want to remember, I don’t want to think about. Why does my mind play such games? Whenever I have a nice dream, I wake up trying to keep that stored in my mind but as the day drags on it fades until tits-bits of senseless information is left back. Where as last night’s dream is so crystal clear to me.
The dream makes me feel guilty not so much though…as it is every man’s fantasy (NO it’s not sex!!). It’s being loved by someone you love back. Let me tell you what it is.
I am standing in the balcony with a friend of mine, chatting, enjoying the twilight. Birds are fluttering past us, but we are deep into each other. Nothing makes me let go of her. She accepts it, I feel the positivity. Being around her makes me feel good, she’s got some air about herself which I don’t wish to understand. Sometimes its nice because it’s a mystery.
We got to a room, a room without a ceiling, the twilight pours itself in. There is a cozy bed, a beautiful carpet surrounding it. I am not quite myself (I would have jumped onto it and enjoyed the luxurious satin), I simply kept talking to her as if there’s nothing more interesting in life.
The Groove Armada track fits in the dream so well. I hold her by the waist (Nothing weird about it Don’t know why…) She settles into my arm as if the contours were made for her. She smiles looking at the setting sun. I love it here, never ever have I done something which would give me such immense satisfaction.
She spreads her arms around me. Holding onto me, calling me the messiah. The door bell rings (Hell…I am not distrubed…someone disturbing the best moment in my life and I don’t feel a thing about it…not quite me!!) It’s her sister and friend…they are pleasantly surprised to see me. They go to the kitchen. I hear the utensils, the stove and the noise of the exhaust fan. I walk to the door and close it.
The next thing I see is the ceiling of my hostel room…hell it was a dream…one of the best ones I’ve had!!